Tense

So, I had an interesting weekend.

Hmm, well to really explain the weekend, I have to go back to Monday (so not the weekend, I realize). Monday. Dana goes out to her car, all chipper and ready to go to work (as much as anyone can be at 730 am on a Monday) and click, click, click, her car refuses to start (but instead makes a very frustrating clicking noise...pathetic!). I have my car towed to the local Firestone. My mom comes and picks me up to take me to work (it is so nice to have people you can rely on in life…a thought Dana has as she does something she truly hates…ask for help). The Firestone calls me at work to tell me that my battery just needs cleaning and recharging, and I need a few other minor things done to my car (they also charge me for a $100 engine check, although I’m not quite sure this was necessary to test the battery). Much stress takes place on my end, as I attempt to finish a deadline and leave work before Firestone closes (I am wholly unsuccessful and end up leaving work at 7:00 a complete mess).

However, I get my car back on Tuesday, and despite the hefty bill, I’m hoping Sydney is alright. I’m incredibly naïve.

Friday night. I’m working late (third night that week). I go out to my car, try to start it up, and…click, click, click. GRRR! Fortunately, Darlene is still there to let me back in the building to wait for my ride (Shaw this time).

(I’ve been thinking this over for about a month now, and I would really like to buy a house in a year. This plan basically falls apart if I go from having no car payment to, well…having one. And a high one at that (say what you want about new cars, I don’t care; I want something reliable with a warranty).)

Anyway, back to my saga. Shaw takes me back to Denver and I help him move a few items to his new apartment. Then we walk to Steuben’s for dinner and call it an early night. I’m exhausted from the emotional stress and working later hours.

Saturday dawns bright and cheery. My parents drop off a car for me to go meet the tow truck back in Aurora (they had plans to go to FoCo to visit Sar). When the driver arrives, he’s able to convince my car it wants to start (I swear I tried everything he did the night before, but after it clicks, he’s able to get the engine to turn over). At this point, I’m not sure what to do because my plan was to have my car towed to the shop to be worked on while I drove back to Denver for an eHarmony date (first date…seems like a nice guy, we’ll see. Sort of hard to have a strong opinion at this point). I decide to leave my car at work, drive to Denver, and deal with it after the date.

The date goes fine. Nice conversation in the sun while drinking tea/coffee. Lasts about an hour. He seems pretty cool, I’m just not sure anything sticks out much in my quagmire of a weekend. Go back to Aurora, drive Syd to the closest Firestone, and sit reading the newest Christopher Paolini while enjoying my Chipotle leftovers (somehow in there I had Chipotle for lunch earlier).

I finally get my car back and am charged another hefty chunk of change to have…my battery replaced in my car (I guess it was too old to hold the charge they gave it before). Big sigh. So my plan…do new car research while hoping this one will last me at least one more year with minimal wallet drain.

Initially, I thought I wanted to stay home and take it easy, but I found as the evening advanced, I had a strong desire to do something. Fortunately, Nate was having a co-birthday party with his friend Rya (I hadn’t yet accepted because of work and car issues) and I was so happy to have something to take my mind off my silly little worries. The party was fun. I talked to Nate for a bit and it was nice to catch up. I did a little mingling and ended up talking to Rya’s friend Chad for a while. And I mean, a while. About my job, about his, about random things. At first, I was just thinking that it was a nice conversation, but as night progressed, and our eye contact increased, I really started to be INTERESTED. Nate became a little more hands-y the drunker he got, and after a couple early drinks and many glasses of water the rest of the party, I was ready to call it a night. As was Chad.

We both left at the same time, just smalltalking, but I could feel my heart beat quicken, the hairs on my neck stand up, and my stomach lurch slightly with the increased adrenaline in my system. As he walked me to my car he asked for my phone number.

And then he said, “Okay, this may seem forward, but before I get your phone number, can I kiss you?”

It was such a soft sweet kiss (as were the few after that), the kiss of someone who knows he’s a good kisser (he does have a quality about him that…well he seems very confident). After we broke apart, he looked at me and said “We definitely need to do something sometime.” I’m curious if he’ll actually call. My guess is he’d be fun, but that’s all I’m conjecturing at this point.

And then there was…Sunday. Broncos loose the football game (I watch with my parents) with their amazing ability to have turnovers and their sucky defense. I go to Golden City Brewery to meet up with Lynon, Kate, Josh, and Joe. I’m the first to arrive and have finished almost my entire first beer before the others arrive.

It doesn’t take me long from Kate’s conversations to figure out something is going on. As soon as Josh gets up for drinks, I offer to help him and as we stand at the window to order, I surreptitiously ask, “So, what’s the deal with Joe and Kate?” I’m not going to get into details here, but the gist is, their dating/“dating.” The conversation was sort of a blur, but I know I spill my guts to Josh about my feelings for Joe (Josh does not seem all that surprised).

I feel like there is a giant black hole in my stomach. We go back and sit at the table and Kate mentions to Joe that she wants Chinese food later. This is just too much. I excuse myself and the moment I close the door on the bathroom, the tears come tumbling out. I don’t know why I’m so upset exactly, but I think it was sort of nice feeling like Joe didn’t seem to date much, so I didn’t need to be pushy or overly flirty (which Kate very much is…friendly and flirty). It was just so nice to imagine that he would eventually notice me. I eventually get a handle on myself.

Back at the table in the beer garden, the sun has come out and the two are holding hands over the table now. Friendly conversation continues, and I feel a lurch every time Joe makes eye contact with me. Kate eventually ends things with her desire to be alone with Joe (talks of dinner, movies, staying in). As we leave, I can barely look at the two of them as they round the corner, saying their goodbyes.

Lynon is parked right behind me and as Josh hugs me, I start crying again. I know I’m disappointed about Joe, but my entire weekend has just left my emotions so raw and susceptible to this sneak attack. The two guys are great, saying nice things to me, and although Lynon says he has no idea what’s going on, he lifts me off the ground in a giant hug and I can’t help but laugh.

I wake up on Monday morning feeling a little overwhelmed and lost. I remind myself…just do the first thing you need to do, don’t worry about the rest. It will follow.