The insomniac steps on her soap box

It's been a long time since I've written an insomnia post. Really, it's already 6:00 in the morning, a fairly standard time for me to get up, but I planned on sleeping a little later today. Sadly, though, it was not to be.

I really am sad to be admitting this, but for the past few weeks, I've really started to be overwhelmed. And this week it finally blossomed into anxiety that is affecting my sleep. My dating life is crap, but that isn't really the source of stress for me (but I do keep dreaming about my crush...meh, it will run its course eventually). It's my job...which is the hard part to admit. One of my co-workers is on maternity leave and the moment she left, our workload doubled. And most of it is on my shoulders. The first couple of weeks I felt like I could handle it. Now I'm starting to feel like I'm drowning and I'm looking desperately for something to grab ahold of to return my world view to normal. I'm way to proud to admit to my boss that I feel this overwhelmed, but trying to deal with it myself isn't working.

And this morning I woke up thinking about something completely unrelated. This isn't a topic I would normally blog about, but it's a soap box that I need to stand on, so if you don't feel like reading on, your call. It is in no way my intention to spark a debate, I just really need to get something off my chest.

This is something that is really starting to bug me. I had a friend on Facebook join a group called "stop abortion" and I haven't been able to stop thinking about for the past few days. Carrie sent me an email about this topic as well and it seems like such a hot topic in Colorado that I have to say something.

For the longest time I felt like abortion was a value debate and there really was no swaying one side or the other. I don't feel that way anymore. Well, not exactly. It's still a value issue, but there's also something bigger going on here. I've always been a believer of a woman's right to choose, even as I understood that if I was ever faced with this decision, it wouldn't be easy and I'm not sure I could actually go through with it. That isn't the point. The point is I believed in the right. I've believed in this right for a long time, but over the last few years, I've believed in something slightly different. But I'll get to that in a second.

Enter Colorado Amendment 48.

Amendment 48
Definition of Person
1 Ballot Title: An amendment to the Colorado constitution defining the term "person"
2 to include any human being from the moment of fertilization as "person" is used in those
3 provisions of the Colorado constitution relating to inalienable rights, equality of justice,
4 and due process of law.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, but this would in effect be the most extreme anti-abortion law out there...definitely the most extreme one I've heard of. As Carrie was so nice to provide me with a synopsis already, I'll just recap the ramifications.

The possible results of Amendment 48:
• Clogged Courts: 48 would impact laws ranging from when property rights are granted, to inheritance rights, to who can file a lawsuit.
• Ban All Abortion: 48 would ban abortion—even for victims of rape and incest or when a woman's life is at risk.
• Outlaw Emergency Contraception: 48 is so bad it could outlaw emergency contraception, the birth control pill, and other methods of birth control because they can prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.
• Restrict Health Care: A woman with cancer could be refused life-saving medical treatment because it could put a fertilized egg in danger.

Amendment 48 isn't even the main reason I stepped up on this soap box in the first place. I have a point I promise and I'm getting there. I think I was about 18 when I finally realized why pro-life views didn't sit well with me and I've spend the last 8 years affirming this belief as I've learned more about the world.

I was reading an article at this impressionable time in my life about the time in America when abortion was illegal. Women would resort to desperate measures. "Back alley abortions." Using a wire hanger on themselves. Shady surgeons.

I'm not going to go into further detail, because it isn't my point to gross you out or make you feel uncomfortable (and I'm very sorry if I did). My point is this. This is what bugs me about the pro-life stance. I respect what you stand for and I understand that I may never change your mind and that you may never change mine and that we are both entitled to our separate opinions. But every time I hear someone get on their own pro-life soap box, a part of me wants to shake them and cry out: "Wake up!"

Wake up. I'm sorry, but in this day in age it's very hard to ignore the world we live in. You can say that by passing anti-abortion laws that the abortion rate would go down, saving countless lives. And maybe it would. But you're missing something. Do you honestly think that if abortion is illegal that women will just magically decide they want to stop having them? This is what scares me. The desperate measures women will take to avoid having a baby. I know you may not agree with their motives, but some women feel so desperately that they cannot be pregnant that they'll do anything and everything to keep from being so. Illegal abortions will take place in this country. And they won't all be clean and sterile. They won't all be performed by a licensed physician. I understand your desperation, wanting to protect these unborn children. But if you take away a woman's right to choose, you don't take away someone's ability to make decisions. Sure you may prevent some abortions. But think of all the chaos that you will end up creating. If you really want to make a realistic difference, try educating people. There isn't a perfect solution but life isn't perfect. The world is an imperfect place. But that doesn't mean we can ignore what it has become.